Email Forwarding - The Work Of Satan

Everyday I check my email and bam, there is a crap load of emails that have been forwarded to me.

Now most of these emails I get I care very little about. In fact I don't care for them at all really. They are always something completely pointless, unfunny, or are just a mess of characters on the page.I blame old people. They are always sending stuff. If an old person ever asks for your email address don't give it, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Who ever first taught old people how to forward emails needs to be nailed to the floor and have their intestines slowly removed and forced to eat them.

The lady in the picture at the beginning of this post may look sweet and innocent but she is  a email forwarding nightmare. She feels her job on this earth is to forward as many emails as is humanly possible and slowly destroy every person who is unlucky enough to open them. In other words, she is Satan.

There is however one except to the rule. My Granny. She does have good email forwards :) In fact I even used one of them on my blog a while ago. They are actually funny and meaningful, and best of all they make sense! Why can't all email forwards be like this?

The worst are the ones that say unless you forward this to 100 people before 5pm you are going to get hit by a bus. And then everyone panics and starts forwarding it out. I hate that. Everyone who sends it deserves to be hit by a bus. Look how things like that are slowly destroying Facebook. Each day I log on I see several posts rambling on about something and how none of your friends will re-post this status about cancer or something. I know about cancer and single mothers and stuff, I don't need to post a Facebook status about it, what is that going to do to help? Would it not be better sending a request to attend an event to actually help those who need the help? How the hell does a Facebook status post that tells everyone that no one else will re-post it help?

Stop forwarding people. It's not nice.

Apple Mac OS X Lion Launches Tonight And People Are Dumb

Read an article a moment ago saying how OS X Lion launches tomorrow and will be available exclusivly on the Mac App store only. It makes this very clear. You just download at home.

Here is the first comment at the bottom of the article:

"i can't wait. im going to the apple store and waiting in line tonight at 10pm for the midnight release!"

I love Apple, but please don't think I'm like this retard.

Adult's Eating Children's Portions In A Restaurant

I was listening to the radio yesterday morning on my way to work and they were discussing adult's eating children's portions in a restaurant.

It seems that this is frowned upon, but why? I mean the restaurant sells a meal still, the customer actually gets what they want. Sure the meal may be cheaper but would they rather you get a cheaper meal than not have your business?

Some of the place's I have been to have proper good children's meals as well. Sometimes I'd rather have that but haven't because the portions are smaller. Maybe I'll just buy 2 portions of the children's meal. This way I get what i want, I get the portion size I want, the restaurant gets just as much money as if I'd bought a adult size portion, so what wrong with that?

And why do restaurant's sometimes have completely different meals for kids? It's like they are teasing us. I mean look at happy meals, why the hell don't I get a toy when I pay way for for a Double Quarter Pound Cheeseburger? Would be great for work, easy to play with the on the desk.

Maybe I'll make my own restaurant where all I have is kid's meals and adult's get double for double price or something. make it fair for all :)

Rupert Murdoch Attacked

Tell me, after all the scandal that's been going on with News Of The World and all this phone hacking and stuff that quite a few people would be unhappy and want to attack Rupert Murdoch? Wouldn't you think they would have people there as protection? Well I guess they had his wife. I heard she will be in the boxing ring in Vegas next weekend if anyone wants to see her in action again.

In The News! Owner Of Killer Bear Chokes On Sex Toy

You may have read my post earlier about eh guy who removed his wart by using a shot gun. Well, this guy got off a little better. Wart guy has to live with everyone knowing how stupid he was, this guy at least doesn't need to worry about that.

Sam Mazzola, 49, was found dead in his Columbia Station home on Sunday, face down on a water bed. He was bound to the bed with handcuffs, chains and padlocks, Lorain County Chief Deputy Coroner Dr.

Mazzola had a sex toy in his throat, which apparently obstructed his breathing, Miller said. He was also wearing a leather mask with the eyes and mouth zipped shut and a two-piece metal sphere covering his head.

Let's hope it wasn't the bear that assisted him.

Not exactly the brightest thing to do, but got him into the news 2 years in a row!

Text Messaging - When Should You Reply? Text Messaging Ethics

I text a lot. Last month month was something like 18,000 text messages. This month I'm already over 8,000 and only 15 days into the billing month.... Which raises a question, what are text message ethics?

When you are having a conversation with someone via text should you reply when you see the message, or do you look at the message and reply when you feel convenient? And should a guy send emoticons to another guy? Or is this a homosexual practice? How do you end a conversation? Does the person who first started the conversation be the one to end it?

I always reply to messages as soon as I see them, I feel they took the time to text me so i should take the time to text back. If I am having a conversation via the message of text then I will often look at my phone often. But I don't know if this is how others do it. So I have put together a Text Message Code Of Ethic's created by me.

Replying to messages
If you receive a message reply when you feel it is appropriate. If however you are having a conversation via text with someone then expect a message and reply as soon as possible. This is polite. If you know you won't be able to and you are in the middle of a conversation then say so, just put 'brb'.

Guy's Use Of Emoticons
If you are a guy you may be thinking 'Should I use emoticons when texting someone?' Well this depends. If you are texting a person of the female variety then yes this is perfectly acceptable. When it comes to other guys then it depends. If you know the person well and understand one another and have the kind of friendship where they know you don't mean it in a gay way then yes. In most cases however it is best not to. It does make you look a bit of a batty boy.

Ending A Conversation
Once you no longer have anything to say on a particular topic or do not have a question there is no need to reply. If you feel they may be waiting for a reply then just say something quick and simple like 'Thanks'. This way a conversation does not drag on and on and become old.

Ringtone
If you are having a full on conversation there really is no need to have your ringer turned right up. Your expecting a message, put it on silent, stop bugging everyone and check you phone every few minutes. No one else want's to hear your phone beep every 30 seconds. That's why it has vibrate.

If you feel you have more then please send a comment using the comments section below!

Have A Wart? How To Remove A Wart

I was reading the news a week or so ago and came across a story that I just can not get out of my head.

So this guy had a wart, it was growing on the end of his finger, and after several weeks it was really beginning to annoy him that it won't go away. He had tried all kinds of crap on it, and even been to the doctor's office.

Well he found a way to get rid of it fast, easy and simple. He shot it off with a shot gun.

What an idiot. Though he did give me a good laugh. Why the hell would you blow your finger off with a shot gun? I mean it's not even like a shot gun is very accurate.

A couple of things here disturb me. He's works at B&Q. This guy usually helps people and gives them advice, and secondly how the hell is this guy married?

It's The Cookie Monster!!!!

So leaving Vegas so don't have too much time for an amazing post but hopefully this will put a smile on your face!