Email Forwarding - The Work Of Satan

Everyday I check my email and bam, there is a crap load of emails that have been forwarded to me.

Now most of these emails I get I care very little about. In fact I don't care for them at all really. They are always something completely pointless, unfunny, or are just a mess of characters on the page.I blame old people. They are always sending stuff. If an old person ever asks for your email address don't give it, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Who ever first taught old people how to forward emails needs to be nailed to the floor and have their intestines slowly removed and forced to eat them.

The lady in the picture at the beginning of this post may look sweet and innocent but she is  a email forwarding nightmare. She feels her job on this earth is to forward as many emails as is humanly possible and slowly destroy every person who is unlucky enough to open them. In other words, she is Satan.

There is however one except to the rule. My Granny. She does have good email forwards :) In fact I even used one of them on my blog a while ago. They are actually funny and meaningful, and best of all they make sense! Why can't all email forwards be like this?

The worst are the ones that say unless you forward this to 100 people before 5pm you are going to get hit by a bus. And then everyone panics and starts forwarding it out. I hate that. Everyone who sends it deserves to be hit by a bus. Look how things like that are slowly destroying Facebook. Each day I log on I see several posts rambling on about something and how none of your friends will re-post this status about cancer or something. I know about cancer and single mothers and stuff, I don't need to post a Facebook status about it, what is that going to do to help? Would it not be better sending a request to attend an event to actually help those who need the help? How the hell does a Facebook status post that tells everyone that no one else will re-post it help?

Stop forwarding people. It's not nice.

Apple Mac OS X Lion Launches Tonight And People Are Dumb

Read an article a moment ago saying how OS X Lion launches tomorrow and will be available exclusivly on the Mac App store only. It makes this very clear. You just download at home.

Here is the first comment at the bottom of the article:

"i can't wait. im going to the apple store and waiting in line tonight at 10pm for the midnight release!"

I love Apple, but please don't think I'm like this retard.

Adult's Eating Children's Portions In A Restaurant

I was listening to the radio yesterday morning on my way to work and they were discussing adult's eating children's portions in a restaurant.

It seems that this is frowned upon, but why? I mean the restaurant sells a meal still, the customer actually gets what they want. Sure the meal may be cheaper but would they rather you get a cheaper meal than not have your business?

Some of the place's I have been to have proper good children's meals as well. Sometimes I'd rather have that but haven't because the portions are smaller. Maybe I'll just buy 2 portions of the children's meal. This way I get what i want, I get the portion size I want, the restaurant gets just as much money as if I'd bought a adult size portion, so what wrong with that?

And why do restaurant's sometimes have completely different meals for kids? It's like they are teasing us. I mean look at happy meals, why the hell don't I get a toy when I pay way for for a Double Quarter Pound Cheeseburger? Would be great for work, easy to play with the on the desk.

Maybe I'll make my own restaurant where all I have is kid's meals and adult's get double for double price or something. make it fair for all :)

Rupert Murdoch Attacked

Tell me, after all the scandal that's been going on with News Of The World and all this phone hacking and stuff that quite a few people would be unhappy and want to attack Rupert Murdoch? Wouldn't you think they would have people there as protection? Well I guess they had his wife. I heard she will be in the boxing ring in Vegas next weekend if anyone wants to see her in action again.

In The News! Owner Of Killer Bear Chokes On Sex Toy

You may have read my post earlier about eh guy who removed his wart by using a shot gun. Well, this guy got off a little better. Wart guy has to live with everyone knowing how stupid he was, this guy at least doesn't need to worry about that.

Sam Mazzola, 49, was found dead in his Columbia Station home on Sunday, face down on a water bed. He was bound to the bed with handcuffs, chains and padlocks, Lorain County Chief Deputy Coroner Dr.

Mazzola had a sex toy in his throat, which apparently obstructed his breathing, Miller said. He was also wearing a leather mask with the eyes and mouth zipped shut and a two-piece metal sphere covering his head.

Let's hope it wasn't the bear that assisted him.

Not exactly the brightest thing to do, but got him into the news 2 years in a row!

Text Messaging - When Should You Reply? Text Messaging Ethics

I text a lot. Last month month was something like 18,000 text messages. This month I'm already over 8,000 and only 15 days into the billing month.... Which raises a question, what are text message ethics?

When you are having a conversation with someone via text should you reply when you see the message, or do you look at the message and reply when you feel convenient? And should a guy send emoticons to another guy? Or is this a homosexual practice? How do you end a conversation? Does the person who first started the conversation be the one to end it?

I always reply to messages as soon as I see them, I feel they took the time to text me so i should take the time to text back. If I am having a conversation via the message of text then I will often look at my phone often. But I don't know if this is how others do it. So I have put together a Text Message Code Of Ethic's created by me.

Replying to messages
If you receive a message reply when you feel it is appropriate. If however you are having a conversation via text with someone then expect a message and reply as soon as possible. This is polite. If you know you won't be able to and you are in the middle of a conversation then say so, just put 'brb'.

Guy's Use Of Emoticons
If you are a guy you may be thinking 'Should I use emoticons when texting someone?' Well this depends. If you are texting a person of the female variety then yes this is perfectly acceptable. When it comes to other guys then it depends. If you know the person well and understand one another and have the kind of friendship where they know you don't mean it in a gay way then yes. In most cases however it is best not to. It does make you look a bit of a batty boy.

Ending A Conversation
Once you no longer have anything to say on a particular topic or do not have a question there is no need to reply. If you feel they may be waiting for a reply then just say something quick and simple like 'Thanks'. This way a conversation does not drag on and on and become old.

Ringtone
If you are having a full on conversation there really is no need to have your ringer turned right up. Your expecting a message, put it on silent, stop bugging everyone and check you phone every few minutes. No one else want's to hear your phone beep every 30 seconds. That's why it has vibrate.

If you feel you have more then please send a comment using the comments section below!

Have A Wart? How To Remove A Wart

I was reading the news a week or so ago and came across a story that I just can not get out of my head.

So this guy had a wart, it was growing on the end of his finger, and after several weeks it was really beginning to annoy him that it won't go away. He had tried all kinds of crap on it, and even been to the doctor's office.

Well he found a way to get rid of it fast, easy and simple. He shot it off with a shot gun.

What an idiot. Though he did give me a good laugh. Why the hell would you blow your finger off with a shot gun? I mean it's not even like a shot gun is very accurate.

A couple of things here disturb me. He's works at B&Q. This guy usually helps people and gives them advice, and secondly how the hell is this guy married?

It's The Cookie Monster!!!!

So leaving Vegas so don't have too much time for an amazing post but hopefully this will put a smile on your face!

Sleeping..... Trouble Falling Asleep

I do not understand. At night I never seem to want to go to bed. I stay up late, watching TV, excited for the next day, thinking through the many important people and things in my life, and running through everything I am looking forward to. I stay up very late sometimes doing this.

I even set myself a time for when I will begin to try and sleep, if often goes 10:30, then when 10:30 hit I say well maybe 11, then 11:30 and so on and then all of a sudden it's 2am......

When I do finally try and sleep I find it hard, it takes me a good 40 mins to an hour... From what others say it seems they often get to sleep right away, like super fast, within minutes. I don't understand! Is there something wrong with me?! How do others sleep so fast?

But then there is waking up, I just want to sleep, and I am super excited and looking forward to the evening because it means I can sleep and I have all these plans in my head to go to bed at like 9.... But they never happen! It's a never ending cycle.

Do you fall asleep fast? If so tell me how!

Anyone Heard Of Coning? It's Pretty Awesome!

So a friend showed me coning, and I have not stopped laughing since. Check it out!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2

So I hear that today is the day that Harry Potter comes to that rather large screen we all over pay to sit in front of and see a movie. The funny thing is that everyone thinks I know all about it because I am from England.

In all actuality I have never even picked up the book (unless my sister left it on the floor and I was vacuuming and I moved to vacuum underneath like the amazing son I am) and probably never will. Never really been into reading much, I read Michael Schumacher's biography once, that was awesome. Can't remember reading much else. Even those books we had to read in school I just watched the movie versions or when I was really young pretend I could not read and have the mother read to me....


Then there is the movie version of Harry Potter. I think I went to see it once, though I could be completely wrong. If I did I paid no attention whatsoever and can't remember a thing about it.

I have nothing against the kid, I have nothing against people wearing glasses or people waving sticks in the air trying to make a bunny jump out of their pointy hats, I just never really tried to get into the book or movie. But maybe I should. I heard some of the movies have quite a lot of action and I love action. So maybe one day I'll give it a go. But unlike 50% of the population I am not going to line up for the next 6 weeks to see it. I'll check it out later me thinks.

I do have one piece of bad news for you all. I saw the ending in my dream the other day. Mr Pothead dies......

This Will Be Me And My Kid One Day!

This is exactly what I'm gonna do with my kid one day!

The Question That No One Seems To Know The Answer To

I was on the toilet the other day. A great way to open a blog post I know, but I noticed something and it confused me.

I was looking at the toilet paper, and noticed that the paper came over the top of the roll and down the front face of it allowing me to pull and rip off at the front.

Is this the right way up? Because I have also seen it where the paper runs down the back side of the roll and you reach under the roll to pull and rip.

Which is correct?

I think I prefer the front but then the back is nice because it's tidy and hidden....

Early Morning Runner?

So each day on my way to work I see at least 10-15 women trying to run. Not all together, most are on their own, or with 1 or 2 others but all separetly.

Why would anyone ever get up so early to go for a run? The only time I run is when begin chased by a dog after drinking a caffeinated drink (I only run after taking a caffeinated drink, never walk). The crazy part is half of them are not even running. I call them 'Standers' rather than 'Runners' and they stand in the weirdest places. Usually it's in the middle or the road and they look all pissed as you drive by them like your the crazy one for driving on the road.

No to long back I even saw a cyclist. It was a guy and he had his dog on a leash attached to his arm cycling along, until the dog had enough and stopped dead causing the guy wearing shorts that are too short for anyone living to be wearing to fall of his bike. At 645 in the morning this was pretty hilarious!

I don't get it though, whats with all this exercise in the morning? I bought a car because I don't want to walk. What's with these people? They are crazy. I'd much rather be in bed than standing in the middle of the road wishing I was dead. Maybe that's why they are in the middle of the road? And I certainly don't want to be using my bike to walk a dog that hates me. Maybe the dog was so annoyed he was waken up so early that was his way of saying 'this is the last time your making me do this'?

The Best Video I Have Seen All Morning!

I saw this and was blown away. Almost as much as this guy was.

That's why I didn't join the army...

Is It A That A Toyota Or A Ferrari?

I saw this car on the freeway the other day and fell in love.

The design of this car is just incredible, the lines flowing from the front to the rear, the sleek body and free flowing curves just make this car one that I want to own. I mean it must have cost a few hundred thousand dollars.

Then there was the sound and the performance, when this guy put his foot down it was like music to my ears and it shot off like a stabbed rat.

When I finally caught up to this magical beast I saw why, it's a Ferrari. It says so on the back so it must be true. Why else would it have a Ferrari badge on it? I mean no one would be stupid enough to put a Ferrari badge on a Toyota. If they did they are stupid because a Ferrari badge would be worth more than the car. So after seeing this I have made a decision, sell the Bimmer, save my pennies and buy this beautiful Ferrari.

Can I Play On Your Farm?

Yesterday I was shocked. Horrified even. I could not believe it. I nearly had a heart attack. I logged into Facebook which I rarely ever do (except for the few hundred times a day) and I saw something that I thought I would never see again. In my news stream was a post offering a free sheep in FARMVILLE.

Farmville? I mean I thought that thing ended like a year ago? Sure that was great for a couple of weeks until people began to realize it was more work building a farm on the computer than it actually was in real life, but why now? How on earth is it still going?

Fair enough this sheep looked pretty good, but why would i want it? Farmville does not allow me to kill the live stock I keep so I can have a good lunch so what's the point? If I want to be a farmer I'd buy a plot of land and hire a few thousand illegal Mexican's, they do a great job looking after our yard so I'm sure they would be great in a farm.

I am kind of worried about logging into Facebook now, I just know someone is going to offer to beat me up on Mafia Wars or something, which I never got into. I mean it's just a newer less offensive game than the original Drug Wars. I'd rather buy a crap load of drugs and sell them than get hunted down buy a fat Italian.

Vacation Ideas - This Guy Went Where No Man Has Gone Before

I love vacations. They are awesome! This weekend I shall be heading down to Las Vegas for a few days. It's great to get some time away, relax, and not have a  care in the world.. It's also really good to see where other people go.

I hear a lot of people going down to California, Cancun, Florida, Hawaii and all kinds of cool exotic places, but my co-worker went to the best I have seen yet. I haven't asked him where he went but but looking at him I already know. He went to the Sun. I know it. Where else can you get a burn like this? I bet he even booked on that Orbitz travel website.

Counting Sheep - It Does Not Work. Period.

Last night I could not sleep. I was wide awake and remember the clock showing 4am. And to make things worse I had to wake up at 6am. The thing I do not understand is the counting sheep thing.

At some point last night, who knows what stupid time it was , but I tried this counting sheep business. I don't get how it works. If anything I made me more awake trying to get the numbers right and whether the sheep are black or white, shaved or un-shaved, are they jumping over a fence or aren't they, is there a farmer chasing me because he thinks I'm gonna nick his sheep? There is a lot going through your head when it comes to counting sheep and it just makes you more awake.

I don't see how that could ever work, and after seeing that it wasn't going to I decided to try other things, like turn the TV off. That worked.

Hot Or Cold? I Don't Know What To Wear And Apparently My Hair Is Wrong

I wake up in the morning, I look out the window and it's sunny but it's cool in the house. Now I don't know about you but when I'm cool I like to dress so I am warm enough. This creates a problem.

I get dressed I go outside and I die. Just die. It's super duper hot, I sweat like an Arabian pig, and people stare because they think I'm crazy. I end up going back inside home again to get changed but then I feel how cool it is inside and I begin to question myself, maybe I was wrong and it really isn't that hot out there. But it is.

It has gotten so bad that I now keep clothes in the truck of my car so I can change if required throughout the day. I really don't care about the weatherman on tv telling me it's going to be 90 degrees, all I want him to do is tell me what I need to wear.

And then there is the hairdresser. I went to get my hair cut a couple of weeks back, I asked just for a little tidy up or a trim and she kept questioning it for the next 20 minutes she took. She kept telling me everyone else is going short. I don't care, I like it how it is. Stop telling me this.

Maybe I just go out naked and put clothes on as required. Oh and shave all my hair off.

Best Buy Faucet - Do You Hate Them As Much As Me?

I hate the faucet's at Best Buy. They never work. You press down on the top to get the water out of the thing but it only sprays for as long as your holding down. How are you meant to wash both your hands like this?

It really does make life difficult, you have use the same hand you are washing to wash it. Confusing or what. It stumps me I can tell you that for nothing. I often feel like I should be getting my leg up there to hold the damn thing down.

And then there is the paper towels. Now I don't mind paper towels, they are fine, but Best Buy is so cheap you tare right them them as you start to wipe your hands down. I spend enough in the place that I know they have money for real paper towels.

This last time I went I even took a video of my troubles for all those who do not believe me.

Still my favorite store though.

Google Plus - Google+ Invites! It's Finally Open!

Today I finally got into Google+. I know I posted on this a few days ago and was kinda excited to see how it all works, but not sure if it can get up there with Facebook.

I have only been on there for a short time but it looks cool, not sure yet if it's better or worse than I expected. One important thing is getting friends on there.

If you would like a invite send me an email to: marcusmcreynolds@gmail.com and I'll send you one.

Time to give it a go and see if it crashes and burns like Wave and Buzz!

You Took My Parking Space

I receieved this from my Grannie last night and thought I'd share it with you, and I have one very important question for you after you have read it as I think it misses the most important part out.

 YOU TOOK MY PARKING SPACE AT CHURCH 

This should wake us up.

One day, a man went to visit a church, He got there early, parked his car and got out. Another car pulled up near the driver got out and said, " I always park there!  You took my place!"  

The visitor went inside for Sunday School, found an empty seat and sat down. A young lady from the church approached him and stated, "That's my seat! You took my place!" The visitor was somewhat distressed by this rude welcome, but said nothing. 

After Sunday School, the visitor went into the sanctuary and sat down.  Another member walked up to him and said, " That's where I always sit! You took my place!" The visitor was even more troubled by this treatment, but still he said nothing. 

Later as the congregation was praying for Christ to dwell among them, the visitor stood up, and his appearance began to change. Horrible scars became visible on his hands and on his sandaled feet. Someone from the congregation noticed him and called out, "What happened to you?" The visitor replied, as his hat became a crown of thorns, and a tear fell from his eye, "I took your place." 

When you receive this, say a prayer.. That's all you have to do. There is nothing attached. This is powerful. Just send this to four people and see what happens.. Maybe, just maybe, we can get the world to start thinking of who took our place.. 

Do not break this, please. 

 

My question after reading this is what car was He driving? I bet it was a BMW.

 

Cops - They Do Some Weird Stuff And Sometimes Tick Me Right Off

So yesterday (Thursday) evening I was driving back from Salt Lake at about midnight. Now yes midnight is fairly late but not unusual, there was still a crap load of traffic on the I-15. What gets me is why did 3 police cars in total feel the need to tailgate and follow me?

The first one did this just as I got on the freeway at 600 N. He followed me closely for about 20 seconds, then pulled along side for about 10 seconds and then sped off to the next car in front and did the same. This exact same thing then happened at about 3300 S, I think with exactly the same cop. Then it happened again at about 9000 S, this time with a different cop. And then another on Redwood Road between Bluffdale and Saratoga Springs. This one tailgated me the whole way.

Now I understand they may have been looking for someone but why would they check every car rather than specific models? Why did he pull along side, yet not far enough forward to see me, and he wasn't checking my speed, all 3 had their radars on (thank you radar detector).

Why could they not be doing other more productive stuff? Why do they feel they can do what they want, like go from the outside lane to the inside lane at probably about 85-90 mph without using indicators? I mean that 4 lanes!

I remember about 18 months ago in Lehi I came to a 4 way stop. I stopped and a car approached from the right, I kept an eye on it because of crappy Utah drivers (see earlier post) and as I was about 1/4 way across noticed he was not going the 25 mph limit, more like 35, and that it was a cop, with no lights on or siren and that there was no way he was going to stop. I slammed on my brakes and luckily he did too. My guess is he heard that Krispy Kreme had the hot doughnuts ready. Do cops not have to stick to the limit or stop signs? He should write himself a bloody ticket. They seem to like writing them for me and everyone else.

I don't mind cops, but they do the strangest things sometimes and if they want to hold everyone to the law, they better keep it too unless they have a reason, especially when doing something as dangerous as tailgating for a few miles, that is just not needed.

Root Beer - I Think I'm Addicted

I have always liked a good root beer. It is very hard to find in England and so moving over here was amazing, it flowed from every gas station, refrigerator, can, fast food restaurant, and waitresses would keep on filling your glass up even when your done.

Problem is I think I'm becoming addicted... I find that every day for the past week I have had to buy at least 1 root beer per day. If it goes flat I buy a second. Or more. It's good stuff! Right now I have one in front of me on my desk. I'll take a picture right now and attach it too this post.

The best however as pointed out by my friend Stefen is the draft A&W root beer you can get in the A&W restaurants and places. Soooooo flipping good!

Root beer needs to have it's own tag line like "Root Beer - The Drink Of Legends". In fact every time I get a root beer and someone asks what I am drinking that's what I'll say from now on. I encourage you all to do the same.

How Bad Can Drivers Be? Does Anyone Know How To Drive?

I hate bad drivers, and it seems that I am in the worst place ever for bad drivers, they seem to be everywhere. No matter if you are taking a 5 minute trip to the store or a 4.5 hour journey to Vegas, someone will try to run you off the road and kill you. Most of them will be women on a cell phone with 20 kids in the car, or some midget in a huge truck. I am pretty convinced that if you live in Utah for more than 6 years I'm 100% certain you will die in a horrible car accident.

Almost every time we travel to Vegas something always happens, even when traveling the speed limit in the slow lane some retard will try to hit you, usually while on a cell phone. What is it with calling on a cell phone while driving? This got banned in England years ago because it's dangerous, yet here everyone does it and if they are not involved in an accident they cause them. Can you not pull over and call? Can you not get a bluetooth headset? Is your call really that important? Idiots.

What also ticks me right off is when someone stays in the outside lane on the freeway ALL THE TIME. Why? Why do you have to stay in that lane? You don't make any sense. Most of the time these drivers are driving under the limit and don't give a care in the world. No matter what you do they will not pull over, and then when you do they go crazy.

Then you have the lame semi driver who has to overtake the other lame semi driver at exactly the same speed. This of course takes him several miles to achieve and causes tail backs 44 miles long. Then just when you think he is done the idiot who just got overtaken decides that actually he is faster so will try and overtake the damn driver who just overtook him.

The mothers with children in the car are the ones that get me. They feel they have to tailgate everyone in front of them, and slam on their brakes at the last second. Do you not care about your kids? Last year on the I15 coming back from Vegas we were in really bad traffic, passed about 4 accident sites due to heavy snow, cars were sliding everywhere but it's all ok because the crazy lady with the kids in the Jeep behind will be ok, it's 4 wheel drive. Flipping stayed on my bumper all the time, slamming on her brakes each time. Each time I looked in my mirror all I could see was her nose hair she was that close. She only stopped when I got out and told her what I thought of her driving. At which point she switched lanes and nearly slid off the road with her rage.

Why can't people drive? In England you rarely come across such crap drivers. Sure when your there a few tick you off (usually driving Audi's) but nothing like here. Utah and probably most other states need to seriously start educating and training drivers much better.

Dish TV Customer Service - What A Joke

About 24 hours ago my Dish TV stopped working, the signal went out. This isn't the first time. This seems to happen every few months and they always end up sending out a technician (more on that later).

I love how when you speak to their tech team they ask you to do everything any normal person would have already have done.

• Sir is the cable connected to the wall socket? - Seriously? am I that dumb that I would not have looked?
• Is your box turned on? - Now your just having a laugh.
• Is there power to your Dish box? - WTH? Are you kidding me?
• Please unplug your receiver and wait 30 seconds - No way, I would have never thought about that.
• Ok we need to send you a technician - Yeah a technician who comes out like 4 times a year who fiddles with the remote for like 5 mins and all is fixed. Can you really not tell me what he does over the phone?

They just tick me off. And if you respond too fast they tell you to do the damn thing over again. Maybe they are a bunch of retards but I don't think I am.

Then they have the cheek to tell me it will be Friday when they get someone out (today is Wednesday), do they not realize I can't go 20 minutes of my life without TV? 

I also love how for the past 24 hours it has not been working I have been watching movies and shows from the external hard drive. After I call them up however I no longer can as the "feature is not on your account". I call them up and the response I get is "The external drive can only be accessed when you have a signal". OK..... So why have I been able to watch them for the past 24 hours without a signal?

Then later I call up and ask if the technician coming out on Friday can install a second box in my basement. I get the answer "yes". Finally they can actually do something for me! But then moments later she says no. What? Why? Her response "We can not send out a new box until your current system has been restored". Are they having a laugh? I mean they send a techie out on Friday to fix the damn thing and then send another out after it's been fixed? No wonder they charge so much each month.

So I priced up DirecTV, works out cheaper for same programming, with 2 boxes, even after paying Dish cancellation fee, only down side is BBC America HD is not available. But thats ok. 

So Dish, in your face!

Google+ - The Unsocial Social Network

So about 1 week ago Google launched the Google+ social network with plans to rival Facebook. Here is the problem I have with it.

I would like to try it out, I signed up right away on their page to "Keep Me Posted" so that I could get access to the social network. I have not yet been able to access the network as it says "We've temporarily exceeded our capacity. Please try again soon."

Now I do have a friend on Google+ and he sent me a invite to join, I got the email from Google saying I have a invite, I followed the instructions and then when I was on the Google page it said "We've temporarily exceeded our capacity. Please try again soon." What's with that?! I guess you can be on Google+ but your friends can't? Pretty social if you ask me.

Also why would I switch from Facebook? All my friends are on Facebook already. Are they all gonna jump ship from Facebook to Google+? I know that back in the day a lot of us were on MySpace and moved over to Facebook because MySpace became crap, but in this case Facebook isn't really that crap. Sure they have started adding ad's, but then I guess they have to make money, and I'm sure Google will start placing their ad's on Google+ at some point if they are not already.

I guess when I eventually get let into the unsocial network I shall join, but I also joined Google Wave and Google Buzz, yet I never used them.... I just kept to Facebook and Twitter. Let's hope this time round Google+ is worth while, but right now I can't see why I'd use it more than the Facebook or Twitter....

I Am A Genius! - How To Make Your Back Less Sweaty While In A Hot Car

Last night when leaving work I got in the car. It had been a fairly hot day, like nearly 100F hot. When I opened the car door all I could feel was the rush of boiling hot air leave the car and hit me in the face.

Anyway, I get in the car and I begin to drive away. That's when the worst part begins. Don't you just hate it when your black leather seats are so hot that your back begins to sweat like crazy and you can feel yourself slowly getting welded to your seat. It's nasty, like proper nasty. It's like there was a swimming pool on my back.

This is when I came up with a genius idea! I decided to move my seat all the way back (which seemed to create problems with my feet and the pedals, like they would not reach the pedals so cruise control was needed and a prayer that I would not need to stop for a while), I lent forward and turned the air con on high. This way I figured it would not only cool the car down but if I got in a good position and pointed the air vents correctly i could cool the seat down and my back and stop me from sweating like a pig.

It worked! After about 10 minutes, a few weird looks from people I was driving past and a few dicey moments with the brake pedals my back was not as sweaty and the seat was cool! Probably the best idea I have had in a very long time! Maybe ever even.

I now almost want to purposely make the car hot so I can do it again.

What Is The Facebook Poke For?!

So I don't really understand what the Facebook poke is for. Facebook says it's a way to say hello to someone. Why can't you just go to someones wall and say hello?? And then what do you do once you have received a poke? Do you poke back? If so it could go on and on a long time.

Last time I actually poked someone in real life rather than the Facebook life they were not too pleased about it, I wouldn't exactly say it was a good substitute for saying hello.

For the past who knows how many months, probably like 6 months I have been in a poke war with someone. I will win. I will never lose. I think though it's more a question of who will die first more than anything.

I wish Facebook made it more clear what a poke means. Like a "Oi, I fancy you" or "I wanna marry you and have your kids" or "I wish you were dead and I could poke you with a stick". Makes more sense than a hello......

Finally. Air Conditiong Is Working!

Last year I got a new thermostat for the house, it was a pretty awesome one where it had all this touchscreen malarkey and switches from heat to air con automatically and stuff. Worked great for a while then it decided to never let anyone be cool again and stopped turning the air conditioning on. Wasn't a problem, was the end of summer so who cared.

Well this year we had a late summer, which already ticked me off, I mean that's one of the reasons I moved here. Anyway I totally forgot the thermostat was broken.... For the past month or so while it's been at least 90 everyday or whatever the house has been more like 100 at least. As you walk in you sweat like a mountain goat lost in the desert without water and forgot to go to the bathroom before leaving. I swear I have lost like 200 lbs in the last month and I only was 165 to begin with.

Anyway with yesterday being the holiday that everyone here celebrates kicking us English out I decided to kick out the old thermostat and get a new one. I headed to the Home Depot, along with every man, dog, woman, child, hippo, and horsey. It was packed. I actually went to Lowes first but after walking around there for like 30 minutes trying to find the thermostats and not wanting to relinquish my manhood by asking someone I left and tried the Home Depot. I found one, bought it and took the thing home hoping it would work.

On the packet it said "15 minute install". Sounded pretty good to me, and the instructions even said "Quick Install Guide". Liking the sound of that. After about 90 minutes the thing finally was installed. I mean what the hell, 90 minutes, what is quick about 90 minutes? Someone better have been fired over that or I'm gonna touch the Honeywell factory.

Thankfully it did the job, I finally have air con! But this is the part I hate most. What temperature do you set it to? I was up all night turning the damn thing up and down so often I didn't sleep. Even now I'm not exactly happy with the temperature in the house. Proper ticking me off.

A British Guy Living In The US On 4th July

I get asked many times at this time of year how do I feel about 4th of July. I moved to the US 4 years ago from England and as we know the 4th July is the day that the US is the day the country celebrates their independence from the British.

It's hard to really give a answer because it's not like anyone learns much about in school in England, there is a lot more history to learn in the UK that for them is a lot more important. I can't even remember what age I was when I learnt about the 4th July but it was not too long ago. I never grew up with the 4th of July and until I moved here it didn't affect me.

The other reason why its hard to give an answer is because I love the 4th July, get a free day off work, fireworks, BBQ's and other stuff. I mean who wouldn't love that?!

I'm also glad the US gained independence from the British. Otherwise right now I'd be paying a lot more tax, couldn't afford to fill my car with fuel, be 100% politically correct, and also wouldn't have Obama to have a good laugh at when you see his face or when he opens his mouth.

The best is at work when saying good bye to somebody on the phone and they say "have a good 4th" then they realize I'm British (for a year or two more at least) and they don't know what to do or say so they just go "er.. er..." and hang up haha.

So being British living in the US on the 4th of July, I love it, it's a good day, glad it happened and the British really don't care much about it anyway, too worried about when the Germans are planning to take over the world again.

The Fiat 500 - Would A Danny Look Good In It?

Last night me and my friend Danny went looking at a few cars. One of the cars we came across was a Fiat 500 Sport. 

The question is.... Is it a girls car?!

If you were to see this guy drive this car what would you think? Is it ok for a guy to drive this mini beast or is it something only a woman should be seen in?

The black is probably the more manly of the colors on offer, and the wheels on this little RC car are amazing! (However I did not take a photo...)

Let me know! What do you think?!

Transformers 3 - I Saw It

So went to see Transformers 3 last night. What a awesome movie!

I think it is probably my favorite of the 3. One of the main reasons I went to see the movie is it now has a hot Ferrari 458 autobot. Pretty intense car.

When Transformers first came to the big overpriced screen I did not go and see it. Never was a Transformers fan, always thought it was a little weird. Some time later I bought my cousin Transformers 2 for his birthday and soon after borrowed it from him to have a little watch. I was blown away! Was awesome! I then watched and bought the first and really should probably buy the second as I still have not given Transformers 2 back.... So I guess borrowed is now stole.....

I just love seeing the crazy robotic mechanical action of the Transformers fighting it out. I have always loved a good action movie and this certainly did not disappoint. The end kinda reminded me of Taken, in the sense that no matter what kill all the bad guys even if you have beaten them down just blow there head off for the fun of it, and I love that kind of movie!

I am still waiting for my car to transform.... all the way home from the movie all that went through my head is "if i head towards that barrier at speed would my car transform into some crazy robot and save me?". I never tried it of course, but very tempting.

The first Transformers movies were proper funny, but I think this one even beats them out in the humor department. It beats them all round and the first 2 were a couple of my favorite movies. If there is one movie you go and see this year, this is it! It won't disappoint.

Now I just can't wait for Mission Impossible 4 coming to us in December, and Batman currently in production. Gonna be good!

My New iPhone Case - It's Pretty Epic.

So like everyone else who has a iPhone I have a Iphone also, and I like it to look good :) Not too long back my black Iphone 4 went for a little swim in a sink of water and toothpaste. I then found out that:

Water + Toothpaste + iPhone = A iPhone that does not work.

Because of this I got a nice shiny new one. It's a iPhone 4 but this time in white. It looks pretty damn fine. To make it look even better though I also ordered a new cover to go on the back of it.

Many people do not know but I really like cars, especially my car, it's a Le Mans blue BMW 335i, it looks dope. So when asked what I would like the cover for the back of my phone to be I asked for it to be the color from my car with the "335" on the back and a "M" logo as my car has the M Sport package.

Today I picked up the cover and it looks amazing! The guy who did it did a very impressive job. I am very confident that my phone is probably one of the best looking phones out there, if not the best looking.

Here is a pic:

My Bath

So today I had a bath. Nothing unusual there. It was a good soak, lasted about 30 mins, however about 25 minutes into it suddenly the water level dropped, like crazy dropped. The level was nearly to the top of the tub, I start to hear water leaving the bath tub but the plug was in. I know it has that overflow thingy but surely that would have let it out sooner? I was just the perfect temperature in the water, then suddenly I'm freezing because there was about 1/3 of the tub left.

When the water decided to leave me alone in the bath I was beginning to wonder if it was ever gonna stop. It was a pretty strange moment. I even slowly looked over the side to see if the water was now just a puddle on the floor, which would have ticked me off even more because my towel was on the floor outside the bath. If thats wet then how would I get dry?

Pretty disappointed. I was just starting to fall asleep as well. Gotta get a shower now I guess.

Touch Your Flies Right Now!

So never really thought about it until now, but the zipper in your jeans is proper dirty. Think about it. You use the bathroom, you wipe or whatever with your hands, and then you do up your zipper.  You may wash your hands but then if you touch your zipper at any point of the day then bam, you got the germs back.  This is why I walk round with my flies undone.

FAIL! How Dumb Do You Have To Be!?

Pretty sure that these people only live for our enjoyment.....haha

Utah Road Construction - More Like Road Destruction

So my drive to work is about 4 miles long. About 3 of those 4 miles are back roads that no one really travels on and the other mile is a semi-busy main road. How is it that I drive through 3 sets of construction on my way to work?

The first set of construction I get to they even closed the road. Who knows what they are doing there, each time I drive past they are just sitting on this little barricade they have set up eating a sandwich. Best part is they actually resurfaced some of that road about a week ago. They did a horrible job, but why re-surface it then come back only to dig it up again? They take you on a little detour that takes you a block further down but each time I see them at their little barricade looking like the Germans are invading I feel like just driving right on through like some dopy old man that can't see over the steering wheel. Watch them try and eat their sandwiches then.

The second lot of construction I pass is for a new road. This new road will be awesome! If they ever finish the damn thing. How long does it take to slap a bit of crap down and call it a road? That's all they seem to do so how long should it take?

The one that really takes the biscuit is the final set of roadworks. No one knows what the hell they are doing at this set. They are not re-surfacing the road, they are not building a new road, all I can see is that they built a tunnel under the tracks next to the road, and they completed that months ago. I don't even know how long they have been working on this (mainly because I am asleep while driving to work) but it's probably easily a year. This morning they had this big roof there ready for something. A roof! What are the going to do with a roof?!

With all this construction going on you would actually think the roads would be half decent. Wrong. They are crap. I have to take the long way to work because the quickest way is full of pot holes. I used that road just over a year ago and blew a tire out by hitting a bucket hole, and last time I went down it like a month ago it was even worse.

Proper ticks me off.

I'm Gonna Be A Dad!!!!

I came accross this video. Thought it was pretty cool! And one day I'm gonna be a dad so......

Being Famous

So I have often wondered what it would be like to be famous. Mainly for the free stuff. Pretty sure I would just hang out at the Ferrari dealer. Even if you didn't get free stuff though it would still be great because most famous people are loaded, and being loaded really helps you buy pretty much any car you want.

As a kid I was fairly famous. Well certainly within our own house. With 6 of us living there I had at least a 16.66% market share within the home, and buy being the only male other than my father I'd like to think my famousness would have increased to at least 33.33%.

I have a friend at work who wants to be famous. though no one knows his name. I didn't till this morning and I've been working with him for 3 years. Apparently his name is Jason Rupp. He even has a Google profile, and anyone with a Google profile is going to be famous sooner or later. Check it out here!

But really the only reason I want to be famous is for money, and I only want money to buy nice cars, so really this post should just be 'Please buy me a Ferrari'.

One day. One day.

Communication

So over the past few days or so I have been thinking about how important communication is. Without actually talking something over things with someone you just never know what others are thinking or feeling. I am glad I have people I feel I can share anything with, which feels amazing :)

At the same time there are others that make it very difficult to communicate with. We all have our own opinions and there are some that make less of you if you have a differing opinion. I guess life would be a thousand times easier if we all could do what we want and be happy! 

Luckily I have not been in this situation for a long time, a while ago I decided that those who accept me for who I am and my beliefs are good friends, and those who don't, well why bother! Having the feeling that you can tell someone anything and everything without risk of judgement or loss of friendship and love and knowing that they will share their thoughts on things with you but allow you to make your own decisions and still continue to accept you for who you are.

I am so grateful for those I have in my life I can share things with about myself, my beliefs, and just being 100% honest . Such a great feeling to have :)

Daytime TV

So this morning I went to work as usual for 7am. I did not feel good, so by 7:30 I found myself in the car driving home. So when I get home I get into the bed which an hour earlier I had left, still slightly warm, had nap for a few hours and woke up.

Once I was awake I turn on the TV. Daytime TV is crap. There was nothing at all on. And worst of all I had recently deleted everything on my DVR. What the hell are you supposed to do during a sick day? Why can't just 1 channel actually show something that people would actually watch? I'd rather be at work. Or perched over the side of the toilet chucking up.

Last Weekend! Was Amazing!!

So at the Salt Lake County Building and the Salt Lake Library they often have events going on at various times of the year. Well I have never been interested in going, never been to anything there. I always assumed it was always some eco-friendly lets all drive hybrids and ride a bike hippie stuff going on there. Well this weekend I went and I was very surprised!

This weekend it was the Utah Arts Festival and they had some pretty wicked stuff there. I was so tempted to buy this leather bracelet, but didn't because I don't want to look like a puffter. There also had some pretty amazing art pieces which I wouldn't really buy, well maybe a couple of them, but they were great to see.

They also had bands playing. I stayed for all of one of them. Eyes Lips Eyes. Pretty impressive. Never heard of them before the weekend but before going I had heard them on YouTube. The YouTub Video was ok, but live they were amazing! Got a few pictures too. And one of the band member even got a bloody nose, so a little humor for me too!

So I am actually admitting it, I was wrong, maybe they do have some good stuff going on up there. I guess I may go back more often and take a good gander. Also Wendy's is just up the road and they have amazing chili, so a great excuse to go on up.

I also went over to Liberty Park at about 900 South 600 East in Salt Lake. I know a ton of people never go there much because they think its scary. Maybe it was back in the day, but pretty sweet now. Awesome for people watching and pictures. Nice beautiful lake there that was flooded with oil last year, but that baby is back to life now with ducks and crap floating on it.

I think it would be awesome to go late at night, maybe sit on a bench or something with the one you love and just talk. It so beautiful and peaceful. But probably get mugged but some homeless geezer.

But all in all a pretty dope weekend really :) Hopefully there will be more like it.

I Think Way Too Much!

So I have decided that I over think things way too much. I guess sometimes I start to think about something and then I start thinking deeper and deeper into it and then all of a sudden I realize that what I am thinking about is pointless! I already know whats going on so why am I thinking it??? I have way too much time on my hands I guess! This post is sort of turning into one of those things where really it could be very short but then I start rattling on about absolutely nothing. Weird.

Getting Up In The Morning.....

I don't think there is anything worse than getting up early on a Monday morning. I get to work for 7am, that means i have to be out of the bed at 6:24, shower, dress, brush teeth, and get in the car for a 10 minute drive to work. The best part is that i really don't wake up until about 10am. I often sit at my desk and think, how the hell did I get to work today? Pretty scary thinking about it. If I ever read of a hit and run going down early morning in Saratoga Springs or Lehi then all that goes through my head is "Was that me??"